Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 7 – Other Forces

 Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, PA, Author ajay_suresh, (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

“Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy“ (Prov. 31: 8-9).

Aretha and I were in high spirits as we headed across I-95, toward Penn’s Landing.  The day was fine.  From the overpass, we could see colorful flags in the distance, off to our right.

Just across from Old City, along the Delaware River, Philadelphia’s Penn’s Landing is an entertainment pier which offers a skating rink and maritime museum, access to historic ships, restaurants and sidewalk vendors, along with a variety of ethnic music festivals.

We were laughing and joking.  Aretha had promised to introduce me to the Pennsylvania Dutch delicacy known as funnel cake.  Funnel cakes are made by pouring batter in a circular pattern into hot oil, then deep frying the batter to a golden brown.  They are served hot with powdered sugar.

I did not at first notice the large fountain several hundred yards off to our left.  From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of what seemed to be two people in the fountain.  It soon became obvious the two were having sex in the open.

Aretha had seen the same thing.  We grew silent, both at a loss for what to say.  Aretha, I think, was mortified that the couple was African American.  I was distressed that she should be exposed to something like this in a public place.

The incident illustrates for me the powerful forces to which Aretha’s life was subject, forces both positive and negative.

Zahra

There was Zahra, the house mother I came to know best.

Zahra was an African American woman in her early forties who wore dignity like a mantle. When younger, she had started a child care facility to ensure that African American children were provided a safe place to play, and prepared for the rigors of school.

A Loving Brother

There was, also, Aretha’s older brother.

I sat on the floor at Shantice’s and watched one evening, while he lovingly cut and colored Aretha’s hair.  Wielding the scissors with great care, he drew closer to Aretha then backed away again, scanning for the slightest imperfection.  With an electric razor, he trimmed the hair at the nape of her neck, then applied a rinse to add luster to the hair.

The process took a full two hours, though her hair at the time was shorter than mine.

Aretha was forever changing her hair.  I had seen her with red and blue wigs, long hair and short, curly and straight.  She was fearless about changing her look, yet self-conscious about her large and arresting eyes which she believed too dark.

I remember Lilian speaking to me about her own skin being “too dark” – as if that could be true of anyone.  There is though a bias among some African Americans and Hispanics toward lighter skin tone.

Where this legacy of slavery and conquest persists, lighter skin is viewed as the standard for attractiveness among African American women, and competence among African American men [1].  Sin has long tentacles.

It is difficult to know whether subtle self-hatred, emanating from one’s family and friends, or overt societal bias is more corrosive, more cancerous, to the self-esteem of a child.

A Hateful House Mother

Aretha certainly experienced her share of the latter.

While the majority of house mothers at the group home were responsible and caring women, one should never have been allowed near children at all.  This woman more than once compared African American girls at the home to gorillas.

Perhaps because Aretha did not mildly submit to this abuse, she became a target for the woman’s bile.  In a malignant reference to Aretha’s hygiene (which I could attest was impeccable), the woman nicknamed Aretha “Fungirina.”

The hateful label would not have been justified under any circumstances.  However, in a place intended as a refuge for children – many of whom had for years endured poor hygiene for lack of a caregiver – the vicious moniker was especially heinous.

Aretha’s response was remarkable. She did not threaten or assault the woman. She did not run away.  Instead, on her own, she composed a letter to the directors of the group home, advising them of the situation.  An investigation was conducted, and the woman relieved of her duties.

I was so proud of Aretha, when she told me.  I hoped her resilience would be sufficient to withstand any obstacles the world might put in her way.

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[1]  JMU Scholarly Commons, James Madison University, “Loving the skin you’re in:  The mediating role of internalized racism between skin color satisfaction and self-esteem” by Lauryn Miller, 5/14/22, https://commons.lib.jmu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1149&context=honors202029.

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