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Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 16 – In the Workplace

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For You have been a strength to the poor, A strength to the needy in his distress…For the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall” (Isa. 25: 4).

Aretha called, upset.  I had been expecting a call, but not like this.  She was supposed to have started a new job.

The position was at a facility for the mentally handicapped.  Aretha would be serving as an aide, assisting patients with meals, bathroom needs, and other daily activities.  She was so happy to have landed the job.

Everything had looked positive, just a few days ago.

As it turned out, Aretha and a cousin had gone out to a club Sunday evening.  The club was crowded.  Somehow, an argument started up between Aretha’s cousin and another young woman there.

Perhaps one woman, by chance, bumped into the other.  Perhaps a drink was spilled.  Words were exchanged, and a fist-fight broke out, with several of the other woman’s friends joining in.

Aretha first attempted to break things up, then assisted her cousin in exiting the club.  As the two waited in the street outside for their ride home, a car veered sharply toward them.  Aretha managed to dodge.  The car, however, struck Aretha’s cousin, dragging her several yards.

Police were called, and quickly arrived on the scene.

The woman who had started the altercation in the club was identified as the driver.  Aretha’s cousin was taken by ambulance to the hospital, having sustained several severe fractures.  Aretha and other witnesses were questioned into the early morning hours by police.

Because of all this, Aretha was unable to make it to work on time Monday.  Evidently, her new employer did not view this as boding well, and let her go on the spot.

“What if I call your boss?”

“I don’ know.”

“Do you think that might help?”

“Maybe.”

“Does she know what happened?”

“I tol’ Rollie.”

“Who’s Rollie?”

“He works theah.”

“But did you tell the woman in charge, honey?  He may not have explained the situation to her.”

“I was really tired.  I didn’ think it would make any difference.””

We figured at this point it could not hurt for me to call, so I got the number and dialed.

“Ma’am, I’m an attorney calling on behalf of a new employee of yours.  I understand you recently had a problem with her.”

“[Ahem.]  Yes, we felt it prudent not to go forward with the employment arrangement.”

“I understand, Ma’am.  I’m not calling to cause you any problems.  I just want to make sure you have all the facts.”

“Facts?”

“I’m not sure if you’re aware.  But Aretha was the subject of a vehicular assault last night.  Police had to be called.  Her cousin was hospitalized, seriously injured.”

“Oh, no!  We did not know that.  I hope she’s all right.”

“Thankfully, Aretha was not hurt.  She was though detained most of the night by police for questioning.  That’s the reason she was late for work.  Of course, Aretha was in no way responsible for the assault.   Ordinarily, she’s very dependable, and extremely motivated.”

“We didn’t realize that.  Well, naturally, that puts a different light on things.”

“Would you consider giving Aretha another chance?  It would mean a great deal to her.”

I sighed with relief, when I hung up the phone.  The job had been saved.  The daily commute would, however, take Aretha six hours – not exactly what I had in mind, when I first tried talking Aretha into taking a job outside the comfort of her immediate neighborhood.

At least Aretha had alerted me to the situation early enough, so that I could try and intervene.  More often than not, I learned of such events too late.  Aretha accepted them as the norm in her life.

There was, also, denial involved.  In order to stay sane, Aretha would convince herself that situations anyone else would have seen as disastrous were still under her control.

Not having had anyone to call for help in the past, Aretha did not expect anyone to respond now.  I was not deluded enough to view myself as any great “savior.”  My attempts to assist Aretha were simply better than nothing. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 15 – Fairmount Park

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Lawn at the Mann Center, Philadelphia, PA, Image courtesy of Manncenter.org

The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted…And…To set at liberty those who are oppressed(Luke 4; 18).

Covering slightly over 4000 acres, Fairmount Park claims to be the largest landscaped park in America.  Walking, biking, and bridle trails can be found throughout the park.

Flanking either side of the Schuykill River are Kelly and Martin Luther King, Jr. Drives, providing early morning commuters scenic glimpses of the river as they sit in traffic.  Kelly Drive is host to numerous statues of notables and open air sculptures.  A historic cemetery along the drive dates from the Civil War.

Jonathan saw his first goose at Fairmount Park.  Canada geese are frequent visitors.  Aretha and I stood guard from a few feet away, as Jonathan toddled sturdily forward, the goose very nearly larger than he was.

Aretha pulled out juice and cereal for Jonathan to snack on.  Unlike some other young mothers, she was careful to avoid falling back on candy to relieve the boy’s hunger.

We had driven to the park in search of tranquility.  The weather had only recently warmed, but scullers from nearby Boathouse Row could already be seen on the river, much as Thomas Eakins had memorialized them on canvas a hundred years earlier.

Both Aretha and I knew that the park could be treacherous.  Purse snatchings, drug deals, assaults, even rapes had occurred there.  Like Philadelphia – like America, herself – the park is an amalgam of contradictions.

“Wha’ ch’u thinkin’ ?” Aretha asked.  My thoughts were on Jonathan’s future, his place in this world, his chances.  “Nothing,” I replied, not wanting to spoil the moment. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 14 – A Roof Over Her Head

If one of your brethren becomes poor, and falls into poverty…then you shall help him, like a stranger or a sojourner, that he may live with you” (Lev. 25: 35).

Aretha had problems keeping a roof over her head.  After leaving the group home, Aretha lived alternately with her sister, at least one aunt, her mother, and in apartments Aretha rented, herself.

There were difficulties with each of these arrangements.  Aretha’s sister, Shantice, had since purchased a house in West Philadelphia she shared with her husband.  Though the marriage did not last, the two continued to live together.  There were, also, now four children.

The real issue was not space or even upheaval in the marriage.  Aretha’s brother-in-law had made advances toward her.  She kept this to herself, but did not feel entirely safe around him.

Both Aretha’s mother and the aunt on whose couch Aretha slept could be volatile personalities, likely as not to ask her to leave on a moment’s notice.  Aretha wanted a stable place to raise her son.  The house Aretha’s mother owned when I first met her was later condemned as uninhabitable.

Section 8 Housing

This left Aretha with the option of Section 8 housing, more formally known as the Housing Choice Voucher Program.  The term “Section 8” refers to the US Housing Act under which this federal assistance program is authorized.

Administered by the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), the program subsidizes low-income housing, with tenants paying about 30% of their own rent, and federal funds the remainder.

While a state’s Public Housing Authority can link a portion of tenant vouchers to specific apartment complexes (in my day known as “the projects”), the program allows eligible families to lease in privately-held buildings, as well.  Participating landlords are subject to a rental cap determined by HUD for Section 8 tenants, and must meet federal housing quality standards.

That, at any rate, is the theory.

In practice, many inner city landlords do not adhere to the mandatory housing standards unless or until taken to court.  Some view the resulting fines as a mere cost of doing business.  Tenants, also, at times damage these apartments, though they can be evicted for doing so.

Despite this, the waiting list for Section 8 housing in most areas of the country is thousands of families long.  The delay for vouchers can easily run three to five years.

Aretha experienced this first-hand.  Though she searched hard for livable conditions, Aretha occupied apartments that had serious plumbing and electrical problems, sometimes lacked heat, were all without air conditioning.

Aretha fought cockroaches, rats, mold, garbage accumulation, chronic leaks, and the stench of backed up sewage.  She lived with drafty windows in winter, and the sweltering heat of Philadelphia summers.

Finding my way to Aretha’s various addresses was a constant challenge for me.  One night, I headed out without directions, sure I would remember the way to her latest apartment, having already been there several times.  Instead, I wound up lost in West Philadelphia.

Again, I had no phone on me, and no chance of locating one.  I drove haplessly up one deserted street and down another, praying something would look familiar.

Finally, at a total loss, I pulled over and stopped altogether.  “Well, God,” I thought, “this is up to You.  I can’t find it, for the life of me.  Unless Your angels drive, I’m not getting there tonight!”

At that point, for no reason I can explain, I turned the car around and drove directly to Aretha’s door.  I guess the angels knew her address, even if I didn’t.  Aretha and I laughed about it later, over cake. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 13 – The Good Heart

File:Heart anterior exterior view.jpg

Anterior view of human heart, Source/Author Patrick Lynch, medical illustrator (CC BY-SA 2.5 Generic)

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil” (Luke 6: 45).

Not many are familiar with Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome.  It is a heart rhythm disorder, effecting fewer than 200,000 people in the US population.

In a normal heart, electrical signals use a single pathway as they move through the heart from its upper to lower chambers.  In Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome, one or more additional, abnormal pathways exist between the upper chambers (“atria”) and lower chambers (“ventricles”) of the heart, causing the electrical signal to reach the ventricles too soon and be routed back into the atria.  Very fast heart rates can develop as the electrical signal ricochets back and forth.

Patients with Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome may experience heart palpitations, dizziness, and fainting.  The syndrome can lead to cardiac arrest, even death.

Aretha first began experiencing symptoms around age eleven.  Her heart would flutter, beating faster and faster, till she had difficulty catching her breath.

Aretha reported these symptoms, but they were initially dismissed, then variously attributed to over-exertion, high blood pressure, and stress.

Since her symptoms persisted, there were several electrocardiograms performed over the years.  These were read as normal, though extra electrical pathways should have been visible on EKG.  This is not surprising, since poverty is directly correlated with poor health outcomes [1].

Finally, after Aretha had fainted repeatedly in high school, the disorder was diagnosed.  When medication did not relieve her rapid heartbeat, Aretha was scheduled for surgery.  A flexible tube would be guided into place in her heart, and portions of tissue destroyed by radio frequency, eliminating the abnormal electrical pathways.

Aretha did not place great faith in this surgery.  She had been told it would correct her condition.  But Aretha had been so often unheard or disbelieved – and so often misdiagnosed – that the surgery seemed just another venture. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 12 – Don’ Matter

Woman holding her baby

Mother with sick child,
Copyright © Good Boy Picture Company/Getty Image,
Courtesy of Parents Magazine https://www.parents.com

I will lift up my eyes to the hills — From whence comes my help?” (Ps. 121: 1).

Jonathan lay listlessly on the bed, his skin hot and dry to the touch.  Aretha and I sat concerned on either side of the baby boy, the bedspread rumpled, the bed virtually the only piece of furniture in the small, third floor walk-up.

“I think you should call the doctor, Aretha.  He’s very hot.”

“I called the docta’ befo’.”

“What did he say?”

“Babies can get high temp’achu’s.”

“Maybe you should try bathing him in some cool water to bring the temperature down.”

No response.

“Didn’t the doctor prescribe anything?”

“No.”

“Can you give Jonathan something over the counter for babies?”

“I aw’ ready did.”

“I think you should try calling again.  Or take him to an emergency room.”

Aretha found her cell phone, and redialed.  Thankfully, Jonathan recovered.

Racial bias can play a role in the evaluation and treatment of medical conditions among the poor [1].  Whether that was the case here, I do not know.  But the evidence for such bias existed long before the distorted views of critical race theory or Woke ideology were ever popularized [2][3A].

A Good Mother Without Support

Aretha did not need me to tell her how to be a good mother.  She held the baby, and rocked him.  She nursed him when he was hungry.  She took him for his shots, and comforted him afterwards.  She read and sang to him.

She sat alone in the apartment with him for endless hours, gazing out into the street.

What Aretha needed was a support system.  Her own mother, drawn to the excitement and volatility of street life, would disappear for days, and could not be relied on for child care in these early years of Jonathan’s life.

Aretha was, as a result, trapped.  She might take the baby to the grocery store with her, but could not leave him to attend classes or find work.

Some mothers in the same position would party through the night, in search of escape, leaving their children alone or handing them off to any willing neighbor.  Aretha refused to do that.

Unable to afford a vehicle, Aretha had to take public transportation.  That could mean waiting an hour for the next street car, if she missed her intended one, all the while huddling against the cold, holding the baby in a carrier in her arms.

I tried to help Aretha find child care.  Several Christian organizations had put together a directory of community services.  Aretha found these still beyond her means, to the extent she had the energy to inquire.

The situation drained Aretha.  She was no longer the girl I had known, full of sparkle and life.  A photo of Aretha in yellow cap and gown, still stood on my desk.  But I rarely saw that smile any more. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 11 – The Road Out

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Shofuso Japanese House and Garden, Philadelphia, PA, Author 松風荘 (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God…” (Ps. 143: 10).

“May education and learning be central to their lives and work, and move them forward to lives of personal and academic fulfillment.”

–Rae Alexander-Minter, EdD, at the dedication of Penn Alexander School

A new grammar school has been built in West Philadelphia since Aretha’s day.  Named for African American lawyer and civil rights pioneer, Sadie Tanner Mossell Alexander, the $19 million building perches like a great white bird amid the rubble of its surroundings.

Regrettably, the school was built too late for Aretha.  She spent her last matriculated year at West Philadelphia High School, without text books the entire time.

Situated at 48th Street and Locust Avenue, West Philadelphia High School is overwhelmingly African American with approximately 86% of its over 1700 pupils from low-income families.  The school when last reported had two guidance counselors, fewer than ten teacher’s aides.  Some 30% of students are absent on any given day.

Truancy

In Philadelphia as a whole, there are over 12,000 children truant on any given day.  Single mothers battle the streets for their children’s souls.

Though young people are required to attend school through age 17, truancy officers in West Philadelphia rarely stop those on the street during school hours.  Perhaps the volume is overwhelming.  Either that or the lives of these children are already viewed as expendable.

West Philadelphia High School, in fact, boasts an Electric Vehicle Team which builds functional and award winning hybrid electric cars getting 50-60 miles per gallon.  But verbal and math college board test scores have averaged 600, out of a possible 1600.  The dropout rate has been as high as 18%.

In 2006, there were 74 incidents at the school characterized as “serious” (89 incidents, the last year Aretha attended there).  These included disorderly conduct, drug and alcohol offenses, altercations between students, vandalism, weapons charges, thefts, and assaults on teachers.  One teacher had his jaw broken.

It is not unusual for arson fires to be set in student lockers, further disrupting classroom time. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 10 – Jonathan

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Pregnant woman, Image courtesy of Adobe

Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, ‘Have I also here seen Him who sees me?‘” (Gen. 16: 13).

I had parked outside Aretha’s West Philadelphia apartment (her aunt’s actually).  The windshield wipers swept rhythmically back and forth, the streetlight casting its thin rays out into the wet street.  Cars passed by, raising a spray against the door, without regard to us.

Aretha sat beside me on the front seat.  Hands clasped in her lap, she squeezed out a few halting words at a time, tears in her voice.

“I don’ know what to do.”

“About what?  What’s happened, honey?”

“They’re all yellin’ at me.”

“Who’s yelling at you?  Why?”

“Ever’body has an opinion.  No one’ll listen to me.”

“Tell me what’s happened.  Maybe I can help.”

“Well, I’m expectin’ now.  My aunt wants me to get rid of the baby.”

I caught my breath.  A baby.

“Is that what you want?”

“I wanna keep it.  I thought…I thought about, you know, ending things.”

I struggled to remain calm.

“You mean suicide?  Oh, honey, you can’t do that!  Don’t even think that.”

“I can’ go on like this, bein’ pulled in all differen’ directions.”

“We’ll find a way.  Whatever it is you want to do, we’ll find a way.”

“I knew you’d un’erstan’.”

I did not, however, understand.

Oh, I understood why Aretha wanted the child – someone all her own to love her unconditionally.  But I had heard Aretha say a thousand times she did not want children.  I had heard her deplore the fact that so many young women she knew were becoming mothers at a tender age.

I had worried she might forego the great pleasure of motherhood entirely, in a misguided effort to further her career.

Aretha had never been “boy crazy.”  She had dated little.  Now, there was another life in the mix.  Aretha’s life was no longer entirely her own. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 9 – Interlude

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Friendship bracelets, Image courtesy of Cultural Fashion or Adornment, Tanzania, Author Maryam Mgonja, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

And above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins‘” (1 Peter 4: 8).

I could have ended our relationship when Aretha left the program.  Since she was a ward of the state, not yet emancipated, her status was now technically that of an unsupervised minor.  I did not, in fact, know how to reach her.

Aretha had spoken of other girls leaving the group home.  She kept to herself, so as not to make attachments that would not last.

Ruth had warned me that a high proportion of girls leave the program early, that the gravitational pull of their old lives is simply too great.  The chaos to which they have been accustomed leaves them so scarred it is not possible for them to accept the schedules, the rules and regulations, that provide the structure for an ordinary life [1].

Though essential, love alone is not enough.  Self-discipline (and patience) are two critical characteristics the girls lack.  Structure helps teach these things, but only for those willing to stay with the program.

While Aretha had been discontented, I had not expected this.  I wrestled with what I would say, if she called.  My first concern was for her welfare.  However, by leaving the program, Aretha had, also, foregone the tremendous educational opportunities associated with it.  Not only would she be back at an inner city high school.  She would now have to finance college on her own.

In situations such as this one, the relief organization encouraged its volunteers to continue mentor relationships – albeit without formal guidance – if the child expressed an interest.

When Aretha did call from her aunt’s, I offered to go on with her as we had before.  Aretha took for granted that our relationship would continue.

We were, after all, friends.

[1]  National Institutes of Health (NIH), National Library of Medicine, “The role of chaos in poverty and children’s socioemotional adjustment” by Gary Evans, et al, July 2005, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16008790/.

Copyright © 2010 – Present Anna Waldherr.  All rights reserved.

READERS CAN FIND MY VIEWS ON ABUSE AND ABUSE-RELATED ISSUES AT ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
https://avoicereclaimed.com

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 8 – One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

File:Alonso Tug of War.jpg

Tug of War at Pep Rally, Author LemonLad1111111, (CC0 1.o Universal Public Dedication)

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of  the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6: 12).

A tug of war began for Aretha’s future.  Really, it had been going on from the start.  The staff at the group home, Aretha’s school counselors, her social worker, and I, all tried to get her to stay in Lansdale.  Aretha, who professed to hate West Philadelphia, ached to return there.

Oh, Aretha denied this, talked about making an idyllic life in the suburbs someday.  She could conjure up the vision of a rosy, if distant, future as a business lawyer – a big house with room enough for her entire family.  But she chafed at every restriction, fought every measure designed to help her adjust.

Divided Loyalties

Ruth understood.  She had seen this many times before.  Aretha’s loyalties were divided.

Much as Aretha scorned the area, some part of her felt that West Philadelphia was home.

She was not ungrateful, not unaware that the people around her were trying to help.  But Aretha did not feel a part of the white suburb, felt herself floundering at school, longed to return to familiar streets, familiar sights and sounds.  The very crickets were foreign to her.

She feared that she had abandoned her family and, in a sense, her cultural roots.

And Aretha worried, I think, that she would not be able to succeed in a white world.  To pursue the dream was to place it at risk of being destroyed.  Rather than that, Aretha would undermine her own progress.

She was not conscious of doing that, resisted taking responsibility for her actions, much as she might regret them in retrospect.  This caused erratic behavior. Read more…

Like Rain on Parked Cars, Chapter 7 – Other Forces

File:Penn's Landing (53572824144).jpg Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, PA, Author ajay_suresh, (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy (Prov. 31: 8-9).

Aretha and I were in high spirits as we headed across I-95, toward Penn’s Landing.  The day was fine.  From the overpass, we could see colorful flags in the distance, off to our right.

Just across from Old City, along the Delaware River, Philadelphia’s Penn’s Landing is an entertainment pier which offers a skating rink and maritime museum, access to historic ships, restaurants and sidewalk vendors, along with a variety of ethnic music festivals.

We were laughing and joking.  Aretha had promised to introduce me to the Pennsylvania Dutch delicacy known as funnel cake.  Funnel cakes are made by pouring batter in a circular pattern into hot oil, then deep frying the batter to a golden brown.  They are served hot with powdered sugar.

I did not at first notice the large fountain several hundred yards off to our left.  From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of what seemed to be two people in the fountain.  It soon became obvious the two were having sex in the open.

Aretha had seen the same thing.  We grew silent, both at a loss for what to say.  Aretha, I think, was mortified that the couple was African American.  I was distressed that she should be exposed to something like this in a public place.

The incident illustrates for me the powerful forces to which Aretha’s life was subject, forces both positive and negative.

Zahra

There was Zahra, the house mother I came to know best.

Zahra was an African American woman in her early forties who wore dignity like a mantle. When younger, she had started a child care facility to ensure that African American children were provided a safe place to play, and prepared for the rigors of school.

A Loving Brother

There was, also, Aretha’s older brother.

I sat on the floor at Shantice’s and watched one evening, while he lovingly cut and colored Aretha’s hair.  Wielding the scissors with great care, he drew closer to Aretha then backed away again, scanning for the slightest imperfection.  With an electric razor, he trimmed the hair at the nape of her neck, then applied a rinse to add luster to the hair.

The process took a full two hours, though her hair at the time was shorter than mine. Read more…